Lori

I've been thinking a lot about Lori these last few days. That's nothing out of the ordinary, but it's been consistent for longer than normal. I'm not sure why, but I know that it hurts as bad as the day it happened.

Time has made it to where I may not cry on a daily basis like I used to, so for that I'm thankful. Unfortunately it doesn't take the pain away totally. They say that time heals all wounds. I disagree. I think just dulls the blade. Now when I miss Lori there's an added element of despair because it's been so long since I heard her laugh, saw her smile or held her in my arms.

Always cherish those you love. Never take them for granted and tell them you love them often. Have no regrets.

One a year

I get one of these a year. Guess I'll try again next year.

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I guess

I guess it's a wrap. Very sad.

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Ahhhh Saturday

Well yesterday was another first for me in the bedroom. Didn't think that was possible either, I know. Our fwb, M, came over and we had some awesome adult time complete with adult beverages!! Aside from the amazing sex, she's also so much fun to hang out with. I can't believe we lucked out and found someone like her. Which brings me to how I found her.

You know that old saying that when life closes a door it always opens up a window? That's kinda how it felt. Lemme splain. We all remember R right? The one from Mi that I loved but wasn't poly so nothing could ever happen. Well check this shit out.

The blog titled 2 weeks was about her. See, I would text R daily. Just a hello text usually, but some sort of text throughout the course of the day. This was because I wanted to AND because she asked me to.

Now, there would be times when I wouldn't hear from her, but I knew she was busy, plus I have my own life so I totally get it. But for two weeks I didn't hear a peep out of her. I got a mundane text after a week and a half of nothing from her. Then comes Super Bowl Sunday...

I posted my blog about the two weeks. No names, nothing like that. Not how I roll, ya know? I get a text from R asking what the blog was about. So, I told her. Well that didn't sit well with her. She told me that we are NOT a couple and we don't need to talk everyday. She knows that my feelings for her are more than just friendly and it's not healthy and she doesn't fucking appreciate being talked about on my blog.

My response...Ok, take care. And those were the last words I spoke to her. Someone that was a friend above all else. I've known R For just over 5 years and we've each been there for each other so I'm sad that things ended this way, but I also have no room in my life for drama.

About a week later I come across an ad from M. And the rest is as they say, history. Everything happens for a reason. I've always believed it, and this was just a small reminder of that.

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A rebirth...I think

So I was told that I need to start blogging again. Well here we are. Where to start??

A lot has happened. My mother kicked my brother out of the house which led to all sorts of drama. A lot of unresolved feelings popped up. I tried to talk to my mother and she had a completely different version of how things happened in our house. Told me things that I remembered were a matter of opinion. I knew then that any sort of attempt to talk to her about how I was feeling would be futile. So, I'm done.

On a much happier note, we actually found someone!! It's pretty cool actually. She fits exactly what we were looking for. A true friend with some pretty awesome benefits. It's only been a short time, but I really think she's gonna be a keeper. Long as she don't go nuts that is. LOL

I may be blogging more as I've downloaded an app that allows me to do this right from my phone. Ahhhh technology. Gotta love it.

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Test

Test

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can be made to feel as if your just an after thought. A lot can happen in two weeks.