Don't have the words

I don't have the words to express how I feel. I try so hard to think about it just being a friendship, but the fact is that I harbor hope. I wonder what it would be like and all I can do is smile. I know it's something that you can't understand and that it's not for you, but in my head it all works out. In my head I make you as happy as you deserve to be and treat you like the princess that you are. But I know that will never be.

I've loved you for a long time and will always love you. I'm sure of that. But I just don't know if I can do this. I see your pics, see your name and I instantly light up. How is that bad, you ask? It's not except that it's unrequited love. I guess I could just continue to secretly love you and wish that you were here, but is that any good for me? I don't know.

There have been others and I always compare them to you. Or if not compare, then say that I wish it was you that was even thinking about this. I wish that it was you who were asking me all the questions about how it could possibly work. Every one that has been even remotely interested always is second fiddle as far as I'm concerned. If I had my choice, I choose you. I'll always choose you.

I love you more than you know and I wish I could tell you but I can't. I wish I could show you how deep my feelings for you go, but I can't. I wish I could be the one to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you every day, but I can't.

I'll always love you

HOLY CRAP!!

It's been forever since my last blog. There's good reason. My car has been giving me shit for the last couple of weeks and I've been trying to get it fixed. What a freaking ordeal that turned out to be.

I got the run around from one mechanic who didn't really know what he was doing. He didn't have the right computer, or so he said, to get into the car to read the codes. He tells me this after having my car for 2 days. Well, since he was flying blind, he tried a few things that he thought might be wrong. No big deal right?

Wrong. As soon as I got in the car I knew instantly that she was worse than she was when I dropped her off. Ended up taking the car to Pep Boys to have them fix her. That's when I realized just how bad the first mechanic made things. There were all kinds of things wrong with the car now. WONDERFUL! Well, they can't figure out what's actually wrong with the car because of all the codes that the first mechanic created. So, they have to clear the codes, and I have to drive the car until the check engine light comes back on. GREAT!

Monday morning I take the car BACK to Pep Boys for what I hope is the last time. As I'm waiting, the mechanic that's working on my car and I start talking and he tells me that all GM cars have a warranty that covers the emissions for either 8 years or 80K miles. He tell me to call a dealer and ask. He tells me this after he informs me that it could cost me 600 or 700 bucks to fix. Needless to say I'm on the phone with the dealer instantly. They tell me that there's a recall for some parts on my car and to bring it in.

I leave Pep Boys and drive my happy (not really) ass to the dealer drop the car off and have my fingers crossed. If the problem isn't one that's covered either by the warranty or the recall, then I have to pay up to a $190 diagnostic fee, PLUS whatever is wrong. Thankfully it was something that was totally covered, so I literally had my car worked on at a dealer and didn't have to pay a dime. THANK YOU MR. MECHANIC AT PEP BOYS!! Nice to know that there are human beings out there.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program!

Been a few days...

Yikes, I've been away for a few days. Sorry about that. Normally I blog first thing in the am, but yesterday I wasn't feeling well so I didn't bother getting online early like normal. Then it turned out that both of the wives were getting off of work early. AWESOME!! The three of us were going to get to spend the day together. For those of you that are new to the blog, the wives and I enjoy spending most all of our free time together.

So we were sitting on the couch and wife D says, why don't we go to the drive through Safari. We stopped, thought about it and agreed that it was a good idea. So, we hop in the car and drive our happy asses all the way down to the Six Flags Great Adventures Wild Safari (damn was that a plug or something??) which was an adventure in and of itself. :-D So as we're getting to the Safari we see signs that say that they close at 4pm. I instantly was worried that maybe they were gonna turn us away. Yikes!!

I was worried for nothing. :) We paid and started our journey through the Safari. It was AWESOME!! I felt like a kid again. It was so cooooooool!! We got to see all kinds of wild animals that literally came up to the car. Like, we had to stop because we were in the middle of a herd of buffalo. Then later on, our car was rushed by zebra. Seriously, like they ran to where we were sitting, and turned away at the last minute. All threatening like. It was GREAT! It definitely was something that we all would enjoy doing again and definitely something that I would recommend for the family.

I did also get the chance to talk to a friend of mine. I do enjoy hearing from her. :)

Thanks for reading folks!

Metrosexual...

So I've been told that I'm a metro sexual. Just in case you're not sure what a metro sexual is, it's pretty much a straight or hetero man that has "homosexual tendencies". By that I mean it's a man that dresses nice, smells nice, takes care of himself. Basically a guy that tends to care about his appearance. This is a bad thing?

I've always been thoughtful of my appearance. I get that from my mother. She always made sure that we looked right when we left the house. Even if we were going to the corner store, we had to be showered, dressed and all that stuff. My mother rarely went anywhere without a face on. As I was growing up she helped me pick out clothes, and there by helped to develop my sense of style. I was a Tommy Hilfiger kid growing up. I wore the sweaters, khaki's, nice shoes. I was far from a fashionista, but I always made sure that I was well dressed.

I like to have my hair cut on a regular basis. If I could, I'd have it done every two weeks. I let it go three or four now, but that's usually the longest it goes. My hands are always clean, and my nails are trimmed. I may not be clean shaven, but I'm typically well groomed. All of these things label me a metro sexual. Simply because I like to make sure that I look right. Aside from my mother's influence as I was growing up, there's one other VERY BIG reason why I take care of my appearance.

I LOVE WOMEN!!! That's right! I love women, therefore I pay attention to what they want. Most women want a man that looks good. Takes care of his appearance and is generally nice to look at. So, I guess if I'm a metro sexual for all of those reasons...then so be it. :)

Big girls

I LOVE EM!! I'm pretty sure I've made at least mention of the fact that my preference in women is different than most guys out there. I like my girls BIG. Best part of that, is that I'm not ashamed one bit to let people know that. I walk proudly with my girls on my arm. They are my trophy wives. :)

I've liked big girls from as far back as I can remember. I've had one thin girlfriend and that was in Pre-K. LOL (I started early) After her it all started with a cute little chubby girl. I can clearly remember kissing her (don't worry it was a tap kiss) on the steps of the school and thinking, yeah this is better. Ain't that some shit?? :) Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I knew the difference between fat (That's right, I said fat. We'll get to that later) and thin I just knew that I liked the way the chubby girl looked. I enjoyed spending time with her.

It wasn't until I was in grammar school that I realized that I was different. All of the other boys were talking about the skinny girls and how "hot" they were. I didn't agree with them, but at that age you have to be cool and fit in with your friends. So it was then that I started to hide my like of big girls. I was always friends with the bigger girls in the class, but everyone figured that was because I was a bigger kid too. You know, fatties stick together kinda thing. Boy, if they only knew. :)

Fortunately I didn't hide my preference for very long. One of the things that I was blessed with was the gift to not give a shit about what other people think. All my friends were dating or starting to date. At the very least they were going out and hooking up with girls. I tried to fit in when I first started HS and tried to hook up with a skinny chick. Yeah, that didn't work out so much for me. :) It was very soon after that that I decided I wasn't going to deny myself anymore.

I told my friends that I liked fat chicks. I stood there and waited for them to stop laughing and calling me names. I asked if they were done, and when they realized that I wasn't joking, that's when the questions started. The most popular one, even still, is why? Why do you like big girls? What is it about them that gets you going? Great question and here's my answer.

Because that's how God made me. :) Basically my feeling is that it's what you're hard wired to like. Some people are attracted to tall and thin with blonde hair and blue eyes. Other's prefer short with dark hair and eyes. I happen to prefer big girls. Just the way the wires were put together in my head. Not to mention folks, that there's a lid for every pot right? Well, sometimes you have a 1qt pot and other times you have a 16qt. I'm the lid for the 16qt. ;)

You know what kills me? That there are adult men out there that still only want a big girl in the bedroom. Who gives a shit what anyone has to say about who you date? Do they pay your bills? Do they have any bearing on your life whatsoever? Even if they did, should they dictate who you date and don't? Forget that I'm talking about big girls. I mean in general. Should anyone be able to tell you or influence who you date? I don't think so. Fortunately for that, I was able to break out of my shell and get what I really wanted. A NICE, SEXY, BIG GIRL!

Ever since then I've been a sort of advocate of big girls. I make it a point to compliment and encourage a big girl. Our society is geared to the complete opposite and that's a shame. To think that young girls are being told that the only way you can be found sexy is if you're some sort of waif thin woman. BLAH! That's just gross. They see these images in magazines and on tv of rail thin women and that's what they think all guys want. Worse yet is that when they get into school, that's all that guys think they want so those guys make fun of the chubby girls. It's sad and really needs to stop.

I don't want you all to think that I'm skinny bashing. It's not that at all. My problem is why do people think it's ok to make fun of someone that's overweight. People assume that the only reason someone is big is because they eat all the time, or they're lazy. Sure there are some of those cases around. But there are also people who are just predisposed to being big. It runs in their family. Yeah, genetics folks. Sometimes you can't battle that. Not to mention, that whole...If you ain't got something nice to say, then don't say it all. It's a wonderful rule that more people should follow.

Quick aside about the word fat. Ladies and gentlemen. There is nothing wrong with the word fat. IT IS A WORD! Why do we let words hold so much power? Do we realize that we give them that power? It's our own fault that we think fat is a bad word. I'm fat. My girls are fat. It's a fact. Sure I could say overweight, but what's the difference? Are they not both letters that we've put together to form a word? One we just give the power to hurt. It's up to us to take that power away.

So that's my story about my preference for big girls. It may not be your thing folks, and that's ok. But just like skinny women aren't my cup o tea, that doesn't give me a right to go around making fun of people who are skinny. It's not right and I'm too old to be a "bully" cause that's how a bully acts.

PS, I'm sure there are those reading that automatically think that a big person is unhealthy. I will concede that a big person may not be as healthy as a skinny person, but that's not to assume that the bigger person is in poor health. Wife D has to get physicals done regularly, and she's healthier than most people half her size. Again, it boils down to not assuming. It does dangerous things.

It's 8:23 am...

And I've already done grocery shopping for the week. When I was at work, you couldn't pay me enough money to get out of bed unless I absolutely had to. Now, I'm up at the ass crack of dawn with no reason whatsoever.

Granted this morning I drove wife D to work, but even if I hadn't, I still would have been up and out before most people have even had their morning coffee. I think I get this from my grandfather. He was up before the sun and was almost done with anything he had to do that day before lunch. He also walked like he was after somebody. I used to have to run to keep up with him. And not because I was younger or shorter than him. Only because that man FLEW when he walked. I now walk at a brisk pace, and I say that's cause I had to keep up with him whenever he walked. :)

Course, the downside to getting up at the ass crack of dawn is that by noon you're ready for a nap. If I don't nap at some point during the day then usually by 8 or 9pm I'm on the couch yawning and ready for bed. Hell yesterday I was passed out by 8:30. Sad I know, but what can you do. :) I love my life and am enjoying the time that I'm able to spend with the girls. :)

Michael Jackson

Yeah, I'm gonna blog about it. Wasn't sure if I was, but after watching the memorial today I figured I might as well join in the fray.

So what's my personal opinion? I'm not really sure. I often wonder why he did some of the crazy things that he did. Why did he put himself in situations that were unnecessary. Like sleeping with little boys in bed, and then admitting to it. I mean, I guess it's a good thing that you admitted to it, but what the hell were you thinking when you invited that child into your bed. What were you thinking when you hung your baby, who had a towel over his head, over a balcony stories above the ground? I don't know and sadly we'll never find out.

Now, here's the thing that kills me. I get that this man did some crazy things in his day. But have we forgotten how influential this man was to music. He was labeled as the greatest artist of all time. That says something. His album is the most popular album of all time. That says something. He's known as the undisputed King of Pop. That says it all. His death affected people WORLDWIDE. People cried as if they lost a member of their own family. That's how deep he affected these peoples lives.

It's a shame that he made the decisions that he made which then tarnished his life. It's a shame that those things are now being made a focus when really what we should be doing is cherishing his life and paying tribute to a great man. Just remember folks, what goes around comes around.