Wow

She sure is photogenic. Got me to stop in my tracks a few times and just kinda...sigh.

Not having a day, just typing...

So I've never really dealt with losing Lori. I kinda realized today just how close to the surface it really is for me. I gloss over most things in my life with humor. I think I just push things down and bury them. That's not to say that I don't talk bout her, think about her, and sometimes cry about her, but I'm not sure if I've really allowed myself to truly grieve her. My body kind of goes into protection mode like a surge protector. When those feelings rush over me, my brain quickly shuts things down so my melt down isn't nuclear. I guess that's good, but is it healthy? I don't know.

It's tough for me to even talk about. So much so that I stopped going to my therapist when I suggested we talk about Lori. Yeah, I suggested it, and then couldn't do it. I don't know if I even can open up about it, or if there's a mental block that's there to protect me. There are just so many things...

7am on Saturday

And I've already been up for 2 hours. Guess that's what I get for going to bed at 10pm. Yup, that's right, 10pm on a Friday night. Guess I really am an old man now. LOL Whatever, I was tired, fell asleep, and 5am my eyeballs popped open and that was pretty much that. I'm sure I'll end up needing a nap in the middle of the day, but I already said I was old didn't I??

Thought this was pretty

Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds, in your presense that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely, remember its true - somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.

??

Hope all is well.

Saw this and wondered...

Is it a sin that I can't help falling in love with you? Ok, totally not worried about the sin part, but more along the lines of is it really that bad that I can't help but love her? I wonder...

Spring, where the hell are you???

Dude, I'm over this snow. I'm tired of seeing all this white everywhere. I'm tired of it being too cold to where I can't wear my flip flops and shorts. I need the sun...STAT!!

Which brings me to a topic of conversation. Moving out of New Jersey, again. We did it once before and tried living in South Carolina. That lasted for a year and a half. When we were down there we missed the hell out of NJ, but now that we're back we can't wait to get the hell out again.

Granted part of our wanting to be back in NJ, was that wife D's mom and nanny passed away and her entire family was telling her that she needed to be back home with her family. That they all needed to be together in a time like this, blah blah blah. Now before you go and say that I'm a heartless bastard for saying blah blah blah, understand that most of those family members are no longer in the picture due to their own stupidity. They treated wife D like shit when she got back here and no they're no longer in the picture. Makes me wonder if we could have survived down in SC, especially since Wife M would have been with us down there. Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

Anyway, there's been talk of us moving again in a few years. Where, we're not sure yet, but we all agree that it needs to be a place that has mild winters. No more of this North East weather that can bring brutal winters. I'd love someplace down south close to the beach, but then you have hurricanes that you have to worry about. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. What the hell man!! Course, I think I'd risk a hurricane rather than have to shovel three cars out of a foot of snow, but that's just me.

Anyway, let's see what the next couple of years hold for us. Might sway our decision.