Lost...

I lost a good friend a couple of days ago through my own mistakes. I realized what I did wrong, and tried to apologize for it, but to no avail. I'm in no way upset that my friend has made this decision, as it was warranted. I pushed too hard, tried for things that I had no business trying for, and as they said, made something out of nothing. Damn this overactive brain of mine.

It's never intentional when you lose a friend, but after it's done you always stop and say. Damn it, why were you such an asshole! Why didn't you just do what you knew you needed to do. I tried, and I couldn't that's why. No other way to put it than my heart took over. Need to work on that.

I'm saddened that I no longer have this person in my life in any fashion. What upsets me most of all is that I feel like I let that person down. I told them that I would always be there for them, and through my own actions I've nullified that. I'm now, no better than the other people they've had to deal with that have hurt them in the past. I'm so very very sorry about that. You have no idea how upset I am at myself for letting that happen.

I wish you the very best in everything that you do. May you be successful in your career. May you find your soul mate and be loved. May you do many wonderful things in your life. Most of all, may you finally be happy. I truly want nothing more than your happiness. I hope that you find it.

Life...

Is so very interesting isnt't it? I doubt that I'll ever understand it. How things work, why things happen and all that good stuff. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. You don't always know what those reasons are right from the start, but I do believe that it's all supposed to happen the way it does. Just something that's always worked for me.

I also believe that people come into our lives in much the same fashion. For a reason. And you can't just think about those people that are close to you. You have to look at EVERYONE that you run into on a daily basis. Sometimes you stop and think, what the hell was that about. Then other times, you are hit right in the face with the reason as to why they were there.

Then there are those times when you have sudden flashes of insight. When you realize that what you were doing was indeed wrong, and not the right way to handle things. It's those lessons, when learned, that really make you wish that life came with a handbook or something like that to make it easier. You could just turn the page, and it would say...OK, Dan, this is what you have to do in a situation like this. But, alas, that doesn't happen does it. No such thing as a trusty handbook to tell you what to do. But then if we had that handbook, would we really be free to make our own decisions and learn? Nope. Not even a little bit. Guess why that handbook never went into publication.

If anyone happens to figure things out, let me know K?

Rain, rain, go away

This rain needs to go away. It's done nothing good for my mood, and I firmly believe it's the root of all evil. Anyway, I need sun, and bad. I hope that everyone has a good weekend.

I'm sorry

I'm so very sorry. I fucked up and didn't mean to. I never wanted you to be upset at all, much less with me.

All I can say is I'm so very very sorry.

BLAH!

Today started good. At least I think it did. I mean I didn't sleep all that well last night, but I can't remember being stressed or anything. Then the day started. Pretty much went downhill from there. So now I'm just in an annoyed mood. Sucks.

Been a rough week and today was just par for the course. Just gotta keep my head up and remember that everything happens for a reason. It's just that those reasons aren't always the ones you want to hear.

Helpless

I hate that you feel this way. I hate that there's nothing that I can do to make you smile or take the pain away. I hate that someone else can make your beautiful smile go away. If they only knew that they were doing.

I never want you to stop talking to me about your problems. I said it before and I'll say it again. I'll be here for as long as you'll let me be. I just hate when you hurt. You deserve to be happy and to be treated like a Queen. It'll happen.

Ahhhh...

This is what Monday's should be. A continuation of the weekend. Almost. The wife had a nice break this morning so she was home from about 9am until 2, and the gf called in sick to work. (Rough weekend...lol) It's nice to have everyone home.

I'm sure there are people out there that think we spend entirely too much time together. Hell, we've had those very same conversations. Wondering if we were nutty because unlike a lot of other couples that we know we don't really do anything apart. Except for work. (And if everything works out, then even that will change down the road...lol)

When we go someplace, it's expected that the three of us will be invited. If not, we don't go. We're extremely lucky that all of our friends are cool like that and are alright with inviting the three of us. Weddings, birthday parties, graduation parties, whatever. If you invite one, you know you gotta invite three. LOL Again, we've been very fortunate that we haven't had to worry about that aspect of our lives at all.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday. (Is that even possible?)