Thank you

Just wanted to post a quick thank you to the person who got me blogging again. Hadn't been here in months and then decided that I needed to get those feelings off my chest. Blogging is def the way to go.

I miss her

God I miss Lori. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about her. I was just on her myspace page looking at old pics and it just hurts.

I was looking at the pics from the last vacation that we all took together. That was only a few weeks before she passed away. There are times when it hurts like it was yesterday. Like no time has passed what so ever. I can still hear the nurse say that they called it. 10/7/2005 at 2:02pm was the worst day of my life. My heart breaks just thinking about it.

She would have been 25. Still young, but gone already for 4 years. I know that everything happens for a reason and I believe that when it's your time it's your time, but losing someone so young makes me question it. Then you have to question why she would be taken when she was happy. Her friends and family all said that she was happiest the last 13 mos of her life. That was when she was with us. I don't understand why you would take someone when things are finally going well. But I guess it's not for me to understand.

She'll always be a part of my life and nothing will ever change that. I talk about her often, think of her every day. I love my tattoo of her because she'll always be by my side. That's where I want her, forever.

I love you Lori and always will. We will all be together again. I know it.

There's nothing I can do

I was talking to a friend of mine. We're very similar actually, share a lot of the same views and such. She informed me that I can never cut you out of my life. I can't just shut the door on the feelings that I have for you. She told me that I could try, but I would be unsuccessful. She's right.

She told me that once I love someone, I love them for life. Funny thing is that Wife M told me something along those same lines not too long ago. So, as stated in my last post, I could just go on secretly loving you. Guess that's what I'm going to do. I have to have you in my life. I hope that doesn't come across as too scary, but fact is that I have very very deep feelings for you and they will never change.

You're a very special person and very important and I hope you know just how special.

Don't have the words

I don't have the words to express how I feel. I try so hard to think about it just being a friendship, but the fact is that I harbor hope. I wonder what it would be like and all I can do is smile. I know it's something that you can't understand and that it's not for you, but in my head it all works out. In my head I make you as happy as you deserve to be and treat you like the princess that you are. But I know that will never be.

I've loved you for a long time and will always love you. I'm sure of that. But I just don't know if I can do this. I see your pics, see your name and I instantly light up. How is that bad, you ask? It's not except that it's unrequited love. I guess I could just continue to secretly love you and wish that you were here, but is that any good for me? I don't know.

There have been others and I always compare them to you. Or if not compare, then say that I wish it was you that was even thinking about this. I wish that it was you who were asking me all the questions about how it could possibly work. Every one that has been even remotely interested always is second fiddle as far as I'm concerned. If I had my choice, I choose you. I'll always choose you.

I love you more than you know and I wish I could tell you but I can't. I wish I could show you how deep my feelings for you go, but I can't. I wish I could be the one to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you every day, but I can't.

I'll always love you

HOLY CRAP!!

It's been forever since my last blog. There's good reason. My car has been giving me shit for the last couple of weeks and I've been trying to get it fixed. What a freaking ordeal that turned out to be.

I got the run around from one mechanic who didn't really know what he was doing. He didn't have the right computer, or so he said, to get into the car to read the codes. He tells me this after having my car for 2 days. Well, since he was flying blind, he tried a few things that he thought might be wrong. No big deal right?

Wrong. As soon as I got in the car I knew instantly that she was worse than she was when I dropped her off. Ended up taking the car to Pep Boys to have them fix her. That's when I realized just how bad the first mechanic made things. There were all kinds of things wrong with the car now. WONDERFUL! Well, they can't figure out what's actually wrong with the car because of all the codes that the first mechanic created. So, they have to clear the codes, and I have to drive the car until the check engine light comes back on. GREAT!

Monday morning I take the car BACK to Pep Boys for what I hope is the last time. As I'm waiting, the mechanic that's working on my car and I start talking and he tells me that all GM cars have a warranty that covers the emissions for either 8 years or 80K miles. He tell me to call a dealer and ask. He tells me this after he informs me that it could cost me 600 or 700 bucks to fix. Needless to say I'm on the phone with the dealer instantly. They tell me that there's a recall for some parts on my car and to bring it in.

I leave Pep Boys and drive my happy (not really) ass to the dealer drop the car off and have my fingers crossed. If the problem isn't one that's covered either by the warranty or the recall, then I have to pay up to a $190 diagnostic fee, PLUS whatever is wrong. Thankfully it was something that was totally covered, so I literally had my car worked on at a dealer and didn't have to pay a dime. THANK YOU MR. MECHANIC AT PEP BOYS!! Nice to know that there are human beings out there.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program!

Been a few days...

Yikes, I've been away for a few days. Sorry about that. Normally I blog first thing in the am, but yesterday I wasn't feeling well so I didn't bother getting online early like normal. Then it turned out that both of the wives were getting off of work early. AWESOME!! The three of us were going to get to spend the day together. For those of you that are new to the blog, the wives and I enjoy spending most all of our free time together.

So we were sitting on the couch and wife D says, why don't we go to the drive through Safari. We stopped, thought about it and agreed that it was a good idea. So, we hop in the car and drive our happy asses all the way down to the Six Flags Great Adventures Wild Safari (damn was that a plug or something??) which was an adventure in and of itself. :-D So as we're getting to the Safari we see signs that say that they close at 4pm. I instantly was worried that maybe they were gonna turn us away. Yikes!!

I was worried for nothing. :) We paid and started our journey through the Safari. It was AWESOME!! I felt like a kid again. It was so cooooooool!! We got to see all kinds of wild animals that literally came up to the car. Like, we had to stop because we were in the middle of a herd of buffalo. Then later on, our car was rushed by zebra. Seriously, like they ran to where we were sitting, and turned away at the last minute. All threatening like. It was GREAT! It definitely was something that we all would enjoy doing again and definitely something that I would recommend for the family.

I did also get the chance to talk to a friend of mine. I do enjoy hearing from her. :)

Thanks for reading folks!

Metrosexual...

So I've been told that I'm a metro sexual. Just in case you're not sure what a metro sexual is, it's pretty much a straight or hetero man that has "homosexual tendencies". By that I mean it's a man that dresses nice, smells nice, takes care of himself. Basically a guy that tends to care about his appearance. This is a bad thing?

I've always been thoughtful of my appearance. I get that from my mother. She always made sure that we looked right when we left the house. Even if we were going to the corner store, we had to be showered, dressed and all that stuff. My mother rarely went anywhere without a face on. As I was growing up she helped me pick out clothes, and there by helped to develop my sense of style. I was a Tommy Hilfiger kid growing up. I wore the sweaters, khaki's, nice shoes. I was far from a fashionista, but I always made sure that I was well dressed.

I like to have my hair cut on a regular basis. If I could, I'd have it done every two weeks. I let it go three or four now, but that's usually the longest it goes. My hands are always clean, and my nails are trimmed. I may not be clean shaven, but I'm typically well groomed. All of these things label me a metro sexual. Simply because I like to make sure that I look right. Aside from my mother's influence as I was growing up, there's one other VERY BIG reason why I take care of my appearance.

I LOVE WOMEN!!! That's right! I love women, therefore I pay attention to what they want. Most women want a man that looks good. Takes care of his appearance and is generally nice to look at. So, I guess if I'm a metro sexual for all of those reasons...then so be it. :)