So today is a much better day. Thank God. Yesterday was a rough one and I'm glad that it's over and done with. Today started out good and I see no reason why that should change. I don't want to jinx it, but damnit I deserve to have good days!
Alright, most of my days are good ones lately. Yesterday was a relapse like back to the days when I was at the Bad Place. But that's over and done with. :-D YAY for that. I try to force myself to not be in a good mood. I don't always succeed, but I've definitely gotten better than what I used to be. That's all thanks to the bad place.
Hey, for you avid readers (if I actually have any of those) check out the link section. I added a link to wife M's blog. Wife D isn't a big blogger, but I'm working on that.
Hope everyone has a very happy and safe Fourth of July!!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Shit...
So I was perusing Myspace a little while ago and came across someones profile who had recently lost his significant other. (I'm not sure if she was his wife or his gf) He posted an awesome tribute to her on his page, it was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen.
That of course brought me right back to the very day that Lori was taken from us. I've been much better recently. When I think of her, I try to smile every time. Every thought I have of her is a good one. I remember the laughs, the hugs, the kisses, all of the wonderful times that we had when she was with us.
Today, listening to his message to her, seeing the tribute that he put together for her, that brought back all the pain as if it had just happened yesterday. I had to relive that horrible day all over again in my head. It's something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and I sincerely mean that. She was three weeks shy of her 21st birthday. Yeah, that's fucked up I know.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss her or think about her. That will never change. I have a tattoo of her portrait on my arm that I often touch just because it makes me feel like I'm touching her. As soon as it was done, I remember saying to my wife that she'll be by my side forever. I just miss her so much.
I know she's watching over all of us and she makes herself known plenty of times. And I know that she doesn't want to see me hurt, but I can't help it. My heart breaks when I think about how I can't hold her, talk to her, or hear her voice. Her laughter was music to my ears. I long for the day when I can see her again, hold her again. Tell her that I love her and hear her say the same thing to me.
That of course brought me right back to the very day that Lori was taken from us. I've been much better recently. When I think of her, I try to smile every time. Every thought I have of her is a good one. I remember the laughs, the hugs, the kisses, all of the wonderful times that we had when she was with us.
Today, listening to his message to her, seeing the tribute that he put together for her, that brought back all the pain as if it had just happened yesterday. I had to relive that horrible day all over again in my head. It's something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and I sincerely mean that. She was three weeks shy of her 21st birthday. Yeah, that's fucked up I know.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss her or think about her. That will never change. I have a tattoo of her portrait on my arm that I often touch just because it makes me feel like I'm touching her. As soon as it was done, I remember saying to my wife that she'll be by my side forever. I just miss her so much.
I know she's watching over all of us and she makes herself known plenty of times. And I know that she doesn't want to see me hurt, but I can't help it. My heart breaks when I think about how I can't hold her, talk to her, or hear her voice. Her laughter was music to my ears. I long for the day when I can see her again, hold her again. Tell her that I love her and hear her say the same thing to me.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
So Dig This...
I love that saying. A co-worker of wife D's says that shit all the time and she's got a THICK Brooklyn accent. Yeah, close your ears and listen for it. It's quite funny to hear it, and is definitely my new fav saying. But, I digress.
That is not the purpose of this post. It does tie in though. See, my wife is a school bus driver. For those that follow, you know that I've had a mental malfunction that was almost a complete shut down. So, what do I do? I decide I'm leaving retail to become...wait for it...a school bus driver. What the fuck? No, really.
I love driving and here is an opportunity to get paid to do it. That's how this all started out. Wife D has been saying for a while that I should get my cdl (commercial drivers license) and drive something. I never thought that would really be my bag as I was in retail management, and thought that was where my future lay. Guess again! LOL
So I decided that I was going to embark on the mission of getting my cdl. It started with driving a charter bus. You know those buses that take people to like NYC, or Atlantic City, run people back and forth from the city to the suburbs, stuff like that. I started looking around at places for jobs and of course, no one was hiring. Wife D's boss said that there was always a spot for me if I wanted it. Well, it seemed that was the course I was going. So, instead of charter bus service, I'm getting my cdl with a passenger and school bus endorsement. So, yeah I'm becoming a school bus driver. WHAT THE FUCK?!?
Ok, so no offense to any school bus drivers out there. You just have to understand that I never saw myself doing this. I was heading down a different path with my life, and then literally overnight that changed. My whole way of living has really changed thanks to my departure from the Bad Place. Some would say that I'm nuts, but I don't care. I'm slowly realizing what's really important to me. I still have my struggles with that, but it's better than where I was. Oh, yeah my nickname is, That Guy. Why? Because that's exactly who I am. That Guy! So that's why changing my lifestyle is such a big thing for me.
Back to the school bus thing. Here's the thing about it right. I like it. I actually love driving the bus. Is that nuts or what? I went on a trip today with my wife so that I could get a taste of what it was like to be on the bus with a bunch of screaming 5 year olds. (I realized yet again why I don't have kids...just not for me no thank you) I can't drive the bus with kids on board, but I was able to drive to the day care, and back to base after they were done. It was a freaking blast.
The first time I went out, I was scared out of my head. And had a whole new respect for wife D. She handled that bus like it was a sports car. I was impressed. Anywhoo, I was scared senseless and wasn't sure that I really wanted to do it. Then I went out my second time, in a different bus, changed a few things up, and realized that it was actually kinda fun. Then I went out again, and again and now I have a blast anytime I get to take the bus out.
It's like I said to the girls when they were leaving earlier. I think it has to be a boy thing. I think it boils down to the fact that all boys like driving big things. When I was a kid I had all kinds of Tonka trucks. Big trucks that would hurt someone if they ever got in the way. Sturdy toys, you know the back in the day joints that were made of metal. None of this plastic bullshit. So really I think that's why I like driving the bus. I'm bigger than just about everything else out on the road, and the other things that are my size or bigger, well if it's gonna be a crash, it's gonna be a good one!
Anyway, I enjoy driving a school bus. Let's see how long that lasts before I get bored of that and have to go up to either charter buses or bigger yet, trucks. MMMMMMM LOL Thanks for reading folks!!
That is not the purpose of this post. It does tie in though. See, my wife is a school bus driver. For those that follow, you know that I've had a mental malfunction that was almost a complete shut down. So, what do I do? I decide I'm leaving retail to become...wait for it...a school bus driver. What the fuck? No, really.
I love driving and here is an opportunity to get paid to do it. That's how this all started out. Wife D has been saying for a while that I should get my cdl (commercial drivers license) and drive something. I never thought that would really be my bag as I was in retail management, and thought that was where my future lay. Guess again! LOL
So I decided that I was going to embark on the mission of getting my cdl. It started with driving a charter bus. You know those buses that take people to like NYC, or Atlantic City, run people back and forth from the city to the suburbs, stuff like that. I started looking around at places for jobs and of course, no one was hiring. Wife D's boss said that there was always a spot for me if I wanted it. Well, it seemed that was the course I was going. So, instead of charter bus service, I'm getting my cdl with a passenger and school bus endorsement. So, yeah I'm becoming a school bus driver. WHAT THE FUCK?!?
Ok, so no offense to any school bus drivers out there. You just have to understand that I never saw myself doing this. I was heading down a different path with my life, and then literally overnight that changed. My whole way of living has really changed thanks to my departure from the Bad Place. Some would say that I'm nuts, but I don't care. I'm slowly realizing what's really important to me. I still have my struggles with that, but it's better than where I was. Oh, yeah my nickname is, That Guy. Why? Because that's exactly who I am. That Guy! So that's why changing my lifestyle is such a big thing for me.
Back to the school bus thing. Here's the thing about it right. I like it. I actually love driving the bus. Is that nuts or what? I went on a trip today with my wife so that I could get a taste of what it was like to be on the bus with a bunch of screaming 5 year olds. (I realized yet again why I don't have kids...just not for me no thank you) I can't drive the bus with kids on board, but I was able to drive to the day care, and back to base after they were done. It was a freaking blast.
The first time I went out, I was scared out of my head. And had a whole new respect for wife D. She handled that bus like it was a sports car. I was impressed. Anywhoo, I was scared senseless and wasn't sure that I really wanted to do it. Then I went out my second time, in a different bus, changed a few things up, and realized that it was actually kinda fun. Then I went out again, and again and now I have a blast anytime I get to take the bus out.
It's like I said to the girls when they were leaving earlier. I think it has to be a boy thing. I think it boils down to the fact that all boys like driving big things. When I was a kid I had all kinds of Tonka trucks. Big trucks that would hurt someone if they ever got in the way. Sturdy toys, you know the back in the day joints that were made of metal. None of this plastic bullshit. So really I think that's why I like driving the bus. I'm bigger than just about everything else out on the road, and the other things that are my size or bigger, well if it's gonna be a crash, it's gonna be a good one!
Anyway, I enjoy driving a school bus. Let's see how long that lasts before I get bored of that and have to go up to either charter buses or bigger yet, trucks. MMMMMMM LOL Thanks for reading folks!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I must be odd
I feel bad for guys that have to hide what they want. I was watching TV, and a commercial came on for the show Hitched or Ditched. It's about a couple that has a meddling mother in law. So much so that the point of the show is to see if the couple can survive. What??
Here's my problem with that. Dude, why are you even questioning? I mean I understand that everyone has different relationships with their parents, but to the point that you would give up a woman that you loved just because your mother didn't approve of her? How is that possible? Are you that attached to your mother that you feel the need to make yourself unhappy just to please her? I'm sorry for you if you do.
Now, I'm also a fan of big girls. Some may know, some may not. The reason I bring this up is because if I were one of those guys that cared about what other people had to say I wouldn't have the wonderful women in my life. I can't even imagine what life would be like without them. I'm lucky that I realized that what other people have to say really means nothing. I heard this once and it's stuck with me ever since. Those that mind, don't matter. Those that matter, don't mind. Think about that one folks.
Be you regardless of what anyone else has to say. You are who you are and should love yourself no matter what. Remember, if you don't love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else?
Here's my problem with that. Dude, why are you even questioning? I mean I understand that everyone has different relationships with their parents, but to the point that you would give up a woman that you loved just because your mother didn't approve of her? How is that possible? Are you that attached to your mother that you feel the need to make yourself unhappy just to please her? I'm sorry for you if you do.
Now, I'm also a fan of big girls. Some may know, some may not. The reason I bring this up is because if I were one of those guys that cared about what other people had to say I wouldn't have the wonderful women in my life. I can't even imagine what life would be like without them. I'm lucky that I realized that what other people have to say really means nothing. I heard this once and it's stuck with me ever since. Those that mind, don't matter. Those that matter, don't mind. Think about that one folks.
Be you regardless of what anyone else has to say. You are who you are and should love yourself no matter what. Remember, if you don't love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else?
You don't say??
So as some of you may know, I'm a member of a poly board out there and I read something the other day that kinda got me. Apparently, it's thought that a quad relationship (two couples) is easier to maintain than a triad (the two girls and I). I was floored by that. I guess that just didn't make sense to me.
What was said is that there's more flexibility in a quad than in a triad. I guess I'm not sure what that means in relationship to the...relationship. Of course, I only have experience with a triad so that's really all I can speak about.
So many people don't understand how our relationship works. How it's possible to love more than one person. How can you share? That's a question I get often. See, that's just it. It's not about sharing. There's really nothing that we share outside of food, household things, and bud (hehe), but aside from that we share no more than a traditional couple.
We all enjoy spending time together, not apart. We don't need that alone time that some people feel they need in a relationship. Hell, there are times when we think we're odd because we don't want that alone time. Now, we do all get some time alone with each other individually. Now with summer hours, I get some days with wife D, days that wife M stays home we get time together, and days when I'm out and about the girls get their time together. Those times aren't often, but we do enjoy them when we can get them. The majority of the time, the two people that are together are talking about the third, and usually wishing they were around. LOL That is our life.
I know it's bizarre to some people out there, but three (or more) people can all love each other as if it were one big happy family. We all love each other, worry about each other, care about each other, and watch out for each other. I've said it before and I'll say it again, how can it be bad when you have that many special people in your life?
What was said is that there's more flexibility in a quad than in a triad. I guess I'm not sure what that means in relationship to the...relationship. Of course, I only have experience with a triad so that's really all I can speak about.
So many people don't understand how our relationship works. How it's possible to love more than one person. How can you share? That's a question I get often. See, that's just it. It's not about sharing. There's really nothing that we share outside of food, household things, and bud (hehe), but aside from that we share no more than a traditional couple.
We all enjoy spending time together, not apart. We don't need that alone time that some people feel they need in a relationship. Hell, there are times when we think we're odd because we don't want that alone time. Now, we do all get some time alone with each other individually. Now with summer hours, I get some days with wife D, days that wife M stays home we get time together, and days when I'm out and about the girls get their time together. Those times aren't often, but we do enjoy them when we can get them. The majority of the time, the two people that are together are talking about the third, and usually wishing they were around. LOL That is our life.
I know it's bizarre to some people out there, but three (or more) people can all love each other as if it were one big happy family. We all love each other, worry about each other, care about each other, and watch out for each other. I've said it before and I'll say it again, how can it be bad when you have that many special people in your life?
Just...
I've started two other blogs before I actually got this one going. just various things, that as I was writing them I thought, nah, I don't want to blog about that. I got nothing today folks.
I did get a good response to yesterdays blog though. Maybe that's what you guys want. The more intimate side of the poly life. It would stand to reason though. When you're driving and there's an accident, you always slow down and look. It's just how us humans are hard wired. We're all morbid in some fashion.
Guess you guys wanna hear about when we all have sex. DIRTY PERVS!! It's alright, we're all pretty much the same way. MWAHAHAHAHA Anyway, that's all she wrote for now. I'll keep you posted on any new developments.
I did get a good response to yesterdays blog though. Maybe that's what you guys want. The more intimate side of the poly life. It would stand to reason though. When you're driving and there's an accident, you always slow down and look. It's just how us humans are hard wired. We're all morbid in some fashion.
Guess you guys wanna hear about when we all have sex. DIRTY PERVS!! It's alright, we're all pretty much the same way. MWAHAHAHAHA Anyway, that's all she wrote for now. I'll keep you posted on any new developments.
Monday, June 29, 2009
**ADULT THEMED...READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**
So, I will warn you now. This blog will be a bit more adult oriented than my previous ones. That's right, I'm gonna get down and dirty. Ok, not really, but it sounded good.
This weekend, the three of us accomplished something that we have only ever done once before. Something that is tough for even most couples to accomplish much less a triad. The thing that you strive for as a couple because it's so elusive, but when you achieve it, it's momentous. That's right, the simultaneous orgasm. LOL
You all know that you've tried it numerous times. That's not to say that you and your partner(s) don't achieve orgasm in the same "session". I'm talking about the rare occasions when you can both climax at the exact same moment in time. When the stars align and all is right in the world. Every animal everywhere stops and listens. It's as if the world takes a collective gasp, and then releases. Yeah, it's that intense.
Now, imagine how difficult that is with two people, let alone three. That's right, you need the stars to align and all that other shit to happen for three individuals. Can you imagine how hard that is? As I've said, this is something that we've only ever done once before. Once in the 5 years off and on that we all slept together. HOLY SHIT! Well, the stars aligned and yeah, all that other shit too this passed weekend and it happened. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Anyway, I hope that everyone that reads this enjoys the pleasures of this phenomena as often as possible. This has been a pleasure and I look forward to any comment that you leave. Please, please do! Have a wonderful day all!
This weekend, the three of us accomplished something that we have only ever done once before. Something that is tough for even most couples to accomplish much less a triad. The thing that you strive for as a couple because it's so elusive, but when you achieve it, it's momentous. That's right, the simultaneous orgasm. LOL
You all know that you've tried it numerous times. That's not to say that you and your partner(s) don't achieve orgasm in the same "session". I'm talking about the rare occasions when you can both climax at the exact same moment in time. When the stars align and all is right in the world. Every animal everywhere stops and listens. It's as if the world takes a collective gasp, and then releases. Yeah, it's that intense.
Now, imagine how difficult that is with two people, let alone three. That's right, you need the stars to align and all that other shit to happen for three individuals. Can you imagine how hard that is? As I've said, this is something that we've only ever done once before. Once in the 5 years off and on that we all slept together. HOLY SHIT! Well, the stars aligned and yeah, all that other shit too this passed weekend and it happened. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Anyway, I hope that everyone that reads this enjoys the pleasures of this phenomena as often as possible. This has been a pleasure and I look forward to any comment that you leave. Please, please do! Have a wonderful day all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
