New life

The day has come. The day when I sever the ties from my prior employer and start anew. This may be no big deal for most, but I'm taking a job that means a HUGE pay cut. Here's the thing. Along with that pay cut is also a cut in my stress level.

I've been out of work due to stress related anxiety. What does that mean? That means that I worked for a company that demanded too much of my time. It means that I worked for a company that had people in positions of authority who don't even know how to be human. It means that after 7 years of giving them my all, when I was out, I didn't even get a phone call just to see how I was. Fuck em.

Am I bitter? Yup, you better believe it. As I said, I worked for this company for quite a while. In those years I was moved from store to store. Not because I was a problem, but because they needed help. I was at my DM's beck and call. I can't count how many times I'd get a phone call at my home store from her asking what I was doing. Before I could give her an answer, she was asking me to go to the store she was in so I could help her. After all that, not one member of upper management called to see how I was. I received a letter from the district human resources manager that was nothing but professional. (I've worked with this person for years, and although I wouldn't consider her a great friend, I thought she was at least a friend.) All of these things combined with a few others have made it impossible for me to work at that place anymore. And that sucks because it was a good job making good money. Just wish the people were better. And I don't mean my associates. They were awesome and I will miss them.

Now, even though I'm bitter, I'm also very thankful. The last few months that I've been away from the bad place, I've been so much happier. I've been able to spend more time with my girls. I don't have to worry about working weekends, and getting out at 1am. (All the while worrying if I left the store in good enough condition) I'm slowly getting my life back. Thank you, bad place, for stressing me to my breaking point and making me realize that I can't keep going the way I was.

The toughest part of all this, is the money. You see, I've always been driven by money. Ever since I was young, I had a goal of making a certain salary by the time I turned 30. I was 8K shy of that goal. Not too bad when you think about it. But now I'm going to cut my salary pretty much in half. WHAT THE FUCK?!? I'm lucky because we have 3 incomes. Really that's the only reason why I can even take a pay cut like that. I'm slowly realizing that it's not all about the money and the material possesions. I don't need to have those things to be happy. It's slow going, but I'm getting there.

Most of all, I just want to make sure that we're not struggling because of me. The girls assure me that we're going to be OK. That we'll make figure it out and make it and we'll be fine. I also know that they won't say anything that's going to stress me out. I worry, it's what I do. I trust them, and if I see that it gets too hairy, I can always go and find a better paying job again. I just know that with that money comes the stress.

Out of all of this, I do know one thing. I'm a happier man. I think I'll be even happier when I officially cut the ties from the bad place. :-D