It is done...

The deed is done. I can't believe it. I knew it was coming and I know that it's now done, but I still can't believe that I no longer work for Bed Bath and Beyond. What a feeling.

I started with that company when I was 21 years old. I came from being a manager with Old Navy. I started young and moved up quick. I worked like a fucking beast and sacrificed a lot of time with loved ones for that place. I'm not going to say that I was the best employee there, but I think I was pretty good. I mean they trusted me with keys to one of the biggest stores in the district as well as the training and mentoring of new managers that were hired into the company. I like to think that says a little something about me as an employee for the company.

Then came the DM. She was an animal. She had a work ethic unlike anything I'd ever seen before. The woman came to work on the same day that her husband had a stroke. She left him at the hospital because in her words, there was nothing I could do for him there and I have a store to run. WOW! Yeah, that's how serious she was at work. She was a woman that in three years time was a District Manager in a multi billion dollar company. And she was in the NYC region which meant higher volume stores so a lot more stress and work. Yeah, I was and still am impressed with her.

She went through 4 husbands. That's right, 4. She worked ALL the time, and demanded that her people did the same. She wouldn't care if you put in 18 hours in a store. If there was something that was wrong, you were still a fuck up. And all that other work that you just did meant nothing. I've seen her tear people apart on a sales floor with customers around as if it were nothing. And when I say tear, I mean call them names and belittle them. People, men and women alike, have walked away from her crying their eyes out because of things she's said. I know because I'm one of them.

She was the reason I had to leave my well paying job. A job that for a long time I actually enjoyed. I used to like going to work. Even for her. She just steadily got worse. This last year working for her was absolutely miserable. There wasn't a person in any of her stores that liked her. They just put up with her because what other choice did they have? They weren't going to be able to find a job anywhere. So really she had people by the balls. She knew it, they knew it, and worse, the company knew it so they didn't do anything about her. Why should they?

Why? Because there was complaint after complaint about the woman. This was a woman that while on a district conference call with her stores present, said that we were all replaceable and she would fire us all if she needed to to get the results she needed. Yeah, that was great motivation and incentive for wanting to go to work huh? This woman was not liked. I'm sure you can get the idea of why though.

Well, one day I snapped. Literally snapped. I started panicking like never before about having to go to work. It started when I got in the shower. I was closing that night so it was like noonish. I was thinking about all of the things that I needed to get done from the DM's walk the previous day. On top of that, the DM and the RM were going to be in the building the following day. The day after my close. Now, we were supposed to recover the building in the morning and do freight at night, but my DM has made it plainly clear that her home store (the store I worked in) was different and needed to do a heavy recovery at night so in the morning it was just small touch up work that needed to be done. So basically, I needed to do all of the moves that she wanted done, do freight, and recover the building. Oh, yeah and I had to be back at work on Wednesday at 8am.

All of a sudden, my chest tightens up and I start bawling my eyes out. I can't even control it. In my head I'm saying, what the hell is wrong with you man? Physically, I'm a mess. I get out of the shower and get a hold of myself. I head downstairs to get clothes and get dressed for work and it happens again. Only this time, it doesn't go away. I get on the phone with the wife and instantly she hears there's something wrong with me and is like you're not going to work tonight and that's that. Quite literally put her foot down and said enough is enough. You're not going to work and we'll figure the rest out as it goes. That was the last day I literally worked for them. That was 3mos ago.

Yesterday I handed in my letter of resignation, my keys, and any name tags that I had in the house. I won't lie. It was more stressful than I wanted it to be, but I think I did well. I lucked out in that the SM was off and I just happened to miss the DM as she was leaving to go to another store. So I turned my resignation in to the MOD who happened to be a very very good friend. I said my goodbyes to those that were in the store and walked out.

I can't put into words the feelings. I know it's going to be tough. I have to find something to do. Staying home isn't an option and I know that. But, I don't think I can adequately put into words how I feel thinking that I'm no longer tied to that place. I no longer have to be scared when I see a store, hear the phone ring and wonder if it's them calling. Let it be them. I don't work for you anymore, therefore I can say what I want when I want. That's not a good thing, not at all. Thanks for the good times, and fuck you for all the rest. PEACE!!