Friday, May 1, 2009

Things that make you go hmmmm...

So this blog was originally intended to talk about Polyamory. Our particular lifestyle and the such. Well, today's post is going to be a little more about that part of my life. Here goes.

It seems that we've suddenly started considering the option of bringing someone else in. WHAT THE HELL!! What's the issue Dan? You're Polyamorous which means that you can love more than one person so it would only stand to reason that you would find someone else that you could develop feelings for. You're right, that is absolutely logical and possible if you are poly. But...

Although we are poly, we've never discussed the option of bringing a fourth in permanently. Sure there has been talk about finding a playmate, and we even recently tried to bring a guy into the mix for the girls. (I'll have to talk about that one in another post. Whole long sordid affair that turned out to be.) But that talk was just talk. For that last year it's been the three of us. That's our family. We work well together. Like a well oiled machine. And then came her.

Her (I don't mention names just cause I'm like that) is this girl who I met on BBWXXXTreme. (That is an adult site geared towards those of us who prefer larger women. Just in case you weren't sure what it was.) I came across her pictures a week or so ago and commented. She was a cutie. Has her labret pierced and this great chest tattoo. I don't really like those tats on women, but it worked on her and has actually helped to change my views about them. Anyway, we messaged and started talking and holy shit!!

Holy shit, you ask? Yeah, she's wowed me. To say the least. Thing of it is, she's also kinda doing that with the girls. Hell, the gf was a little piqued that she didn't receive an email that was promised to her. What's that about? I don't know. See, this girl from BBWXXX is rather intriguing. She seems to get the relationship better than we got it at her stage or age for that matter. (She's 21!! I KNOW I KNOW cradle robber...so young and sweet) She's made it a point to want to get to know both the wife and gf. That's not common for most of the women that I've come across. She genuinely wants to get to know them as well as she does me. That means a lot to me. Sounds like a dream come true to me. But...

But, there are so many buts. The biggest but is, really Dan, another gf?!? What are you nuts?? Am I? One thing that goes through my mind is what are people gonna say. Having a wife and a gf, people have gotten used to that. All I can think of is them saying, how many more is he gonna collect. Cause that's what I would think. But then I think of the show Big Love. Sure it's a TV show, but that's based on reality out in Utah. No, I'm not a Mormon for the love of God, but my thought is this. If they can do it for religious reasons, why can't someone do it for actual love. Genuine love for more than one, two or a potential third person in your life. Why can't that happen?? Maybe it can.

Another, bigger one. We have a core family now, the three of us. We all feel like we're not whole unless the three of us are together. It's Danny, the wife, the gf. Could it be, Danny, the wife, the gf, and the gf?? Is that too much? I was talking to "prospect??" last night and I said something about that to her and she said yeah, and with a fourth it would be like the legs on a table. You know, more sturdy. Hmmmm. Interesting way to look at it isn't it? I think so.

Then there's the fact that she's young and has a bit of baggage. Now, what person doesn't have baggage in their life. But at her life, she's got a good amount. I'm not going to lie. There's a part of me that has this Jesus Christ complex where I feel like I have to help everyone in need. But I don't want say that's the only reason why I'm interested, or intrigued by her. For her age, she's also figured a lot of stuff out. Whether it be through experience, or she's a good faker...yeah I said faker, I have yet to completely figure out. There's a really big part of me that feels like she's so sincere. Sincere when she says that she thinks we're all hot. That she already likes each of our personalities. In no time at all she figured out each of our roles in the family we currently have. That kind of blew me away.

But then I say. Here is someone that has had a rough life. She's said it herself that she falls very hard very quickly. I know that's what's happening here. Hell, she's told me as such. I did the right thing though. I told her that IF anything were to ever happen it was a while down the road. I made it very clear that there was a lot of time that was going to be needed before even real serious thoughts can be had. Then I think, have we already started having some of those. Not sure. She told me why she moves so quick and she said that she's not sure how to proceed at a normal pace. I told her that I would take care of the pace. She agreed. She said it was out of her norm, but she was OK with that.

Now here's the biggest pro. And I mean HUGE pro. She genuinely wants to get to know the wife and gf. She emailed with them last night. Was chatting with the gf as well. That's a really big selling point for me. A lot of other women don't really want anything to do with the wife. Or they would claim to be cool with it, and then when it came down to go time, they'd like...barely touch her. This girl doesn't seem to be about that. And she also seems like she could LOVE them both. And not necessarily like a friend, but like a lover, gf, partner. Whatever you want to call it. The way the wife and gf feel about each other. Then I think, what would that be like? To have three people that you love and that love you. She actually said something similar last night while we were chatting. So, yeah not really sure. Keeping our options open?? As good a way as any to put it.

So that's where we're at right now. I'll keep the fans (if there are any of you out there) posted as to what goes on. I'm really interested in seeing how this all works out too. LOL