Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Who needs a title??

So, I think that the reason that I don't blog as much anymore is because I don't do anything! Now, now don't misconstrue that statement. I'm in no way bored or do I want to go back to work. :D I was merely stating a fact. Gotta do shit in order to have shit to write about right? That's what I thought.

But, here I sit because I'm going to get back into the blogging thing. Partly because it's fun, partly because it's therapeutic. Mostly because I want to finish something that I started damnit! It's too easy to just walk away. I was thinking about that the other day. I'm great at the start, but when it comes to the long haul, I tend to just walk away. Maybe cause my dad did?? Hmmm, guess this is where blogging comes in handy huh? I get shit off my chest and you people are entertained by reading. I like it.

I'm like a cheetah, not by any means in the physical sense. Good for short bursts then in some cases I just get bored. Work was a prime example of that. Granted, I worked for someone that should never have been promoted to a district manager due to her lack of people skills, but after a while my job got boring. It was the same thing over and over again. I can only move the aisle so many times before I snap like a twig and go apeshit. For those that don't know, that's pretty much what happened to me. What we at the house refer to as "The Incident". It's really rather comical now, but it wasn't at the time. Totally not in control of myself and that's something that NEVER happens to me. Totally went off topic there didn't I?

Anyway, it's like I get bored with some things. With others it's just that I don't want to deal. Some situations that can be ugly or have the potential of being ugly I have no desire to deal with. So, I just don't. I'm sure a lot of it is stress I put on the situation. I always think about the worst possible outcome. You know, to prepare myself. So sometimes I think about the worst possible outcome and to avoid that, I just opt out. Walk away, cut myself off. It's just easier that way. And I can very easily cut people out of my life. Just ask my mother. Hmmm, guess that'll have to be another blog in the near future huh?

I need to work on not psyching myself out and always assuming that the worst is going to happen. Now if only I could tell my brain to stop doing it. LOL So much easier said than done right? Maybe this blog will help with that. I'll get my anxiety out on here through words and see how that works. Hmmm, can't hurt right? Didn't think so.

Alright, I think that's all for right now. I may be back later and post more, I may not. Not sure what's on my agenda for today.