Worried

I'm worried about you. Don't tell me not to, because it's what I do. I'm here if you need me.

Can't even help it

I see her pics and I'm done. Just, done. Damn!

Old man

So it's happening. I know I've said that it doesn't bother me, and for the most part it doesn't, but I'm getting old! Yes, this is a part of life and the natural order of things, but it's always tough to swallow it when something happens that makes you realize just how old you are.

Oh, yeah and as always she's the one that's still around.

Always the asshole

Exactly what the title says.

Thank you

Just wanted to post a quick thank you to the person who got me blogging again. Hadn't been here in months and then decided that I needed to get those feelings off my chest. Blogging is def the way to go.

I miss her

God I miss Lori. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about her. I was just on her myspace page looking at old pics and it just hurts.

I was looking at the pics from the last vacation that we all took together. That was only a few weeks before she passed away. There are times when it hurts like it was yesterday. Like no time has passed what so ever. I can still hear the nurse say that they called it. 10/7/2005 at 2:02pm was the worst day of my life. My heart breaks just thinking about it.

She would have been 25. Still young, but gone already for 4 years. I know that everything happens for a reason and I believe that when it's your time it's your time, but losing someone so young makes me question it. Then you have to question why she would be taken when she was happy. Her friends and family all said that she was happiest the last 13 mos of her life. That was when she was with us. I don't understand why you would take someone when things are finally going well. But I guess it's not for me to understand.

She'll always be a part of my life and nothing will ever change that. I talk about her often, think of her every day. I love my tattoo of her because she'll always be by my side. That's where I want her, forever.

I love you Lori and always will. We will all be together again. I know it.

There's nothing I can do

I was talking to a friend of mine. We're very similar actually, share a lot of the same views and such. She informed me that I can never cut you out of my life. I can't just shut the door on the feelings that I have for you. She told me that I could try, but I would be unsuccessful. She's right.

She told me that once I love someone, I love them for life. Funny thing is that Wife M told me something along those same lines not too long ago. So, as stated in my last post, I could just go on secretly loving you. Guess that's what I'm going to do. I have to have you in my life. I hope that doesn't come across as too scary, but fact is that I have very very deep feelings for you and they will never change.

You're a very special person and very important and I hope you know just how special.